Polarized Family Gatherings: The New Holiday Reality

What research reveals about political conflict during family dinners—and how to steer conversations back to connection

With the holidays coming up, many people many will likely themselves at a family gathering feeling politically tense—or even outraged.

Are you worried about sitting through your uncle’s annual rant about US politics? Or will your niece’s protest posts on TikTok be too much to stomach over dessert? Have conspiracy theories spoiled the whole thing?

You are not alone!

We have felt way the same way too (full confession: we have a family member who posts way too much misinformation on Instagram). Recent research has revealed that political polarization—and threats to democracy—have been corrosive to family gatherings and impacted how people spend their holiday dinners.

In 2018, researchers analyzed ~25 billion smartphone location data pings from ~10 million Americans and found that that politically diverse Thanksgiving dinners were “30 to 50 minutes shorter” than ones with politically aligned guests. In 2020, the study was replicated with a meta-analysis and found that across multiple studies, politically diverse dinners were on average about 24 minutes shorter.

Image from the Washington Post

The authors found that political diversity was associated with a less pleasant atmosphere and this explained why dinners were shorter (see figure from the study below). These politically-fraught dinners were up to 19% shorter than dinners with politically likeminded folks, which lasted an average of 257 minutes. So if you find yourself making excuses to leave the party before dessert is served, you are not alone.

But why does this happen and how can we reclaim our holidays?

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