Life Advice for The Next Generation
Issue 132: A graduation speech from teacher Ben Mook on how to live a good life
Every year there are a few viral graduation speeches that go viral. These speeches are often given at colleges with the goal of making the next generation aware of the opportunities ahead of them, along with their responsibilities. Some times, they also often brilliant advice about how to live the good life.
We have been fortune to have incredible speakers at our own graduation ceremonies—from the human rights activist Archbishop Desmond Tutu to legendary primatologist Jane Goodall. These moral and intellectual giants made us think more deeply about our role in the world.
This year, Jay was at his son Jack’s middle school graduation ceremony in New York City when he saw something different. Jack’s teacher Ben Mook delivered an incredible speech for the next generation about how to live a rich and fulfilling life while navigating many of the issues we discuss in our newsletter. Whether you are a teenager, a parent, or simply a citizen trying to make sense of the world, we strongly urge you to either watch or read his fantastic speech.
Alright. Alright. Alright.
Let’s begin with one final math lesson. A real life use for geometry.
When I was in 6th grade my friend’s grandmother sat me and him down at her kitchen table. She had a map of DC and Virginia and wanted to show us that we were going to be safe.
I started middle school during the end of the Cold War, and on the playground kids had been talking about what would happen if the Soviets dropped a nuclear bomb on the capital. So my friend's grandmother took out a compass, traced a circle around DC, and showed us that our small town in the suburbs would be outside the blast radius.
But, the thing is, even little 6th grade Ben knew that the real worry was the fallout. And depending on the winds either Reston Virginia would be there an hour after the bomb dropped .... or it wouldn’t.
That fear -- that wake up in the middle of the night fear of War -- haunted my middle school years. And while War loomed over me, your years have played host to all four horsemen.
Every culture and religion has their own harbingers of death and destruction. Hinduism has Kalki, the tenth and last avatar of Vishnu, riding in on a white horse. Mesoamerican myths warn that Quetzalcoatl will return and retake his kingdom. My Viking ancestors believed the wolf Fenrir and the serpent Jormungand would one day ravage the earth and poison the oceans. What makes us so amazing is that in spite of these enemies, this existential fear, we carry on with our lives. Made stronger and better by what we had to overcome.
And since I haven’t graduated middle school in over twenty years, I imagine these existential threats as comic book horsemen of the apocalypse. So let's celebrate all that we have overcome.
WAR.
Right now there are wars raging on nearly every continent. It’s almost as if the adults are doing everything they can to break this world before you inherit it. The only solution I see is to grow the compassion and empathy you need to pick up the broken pieces. Look to the kindness that we show the displaced, the refugees. Let that kindness define the new world you can build.
DEATH and FAMINE.
Or, as you know them, Covid and Lockdown. Over 80 thousand New Yorkers died of Covid. Compared to other American cities we were hit first and we were hit hardest. There are those in the audience who lost family members. We lost a teacher on the 8th grade team.
But New York used famine to battle death. Lockdown cut Covid infection rates in half. To save the lives of others we closed schools and shut businesses. We suffered nutritional famine. Social famine. Educational famine. We suffered, but we survived. We carry the scars. And from that struggle we were made stronger.
Now the real threat is CONQUEST. Some people call you ChatGPT.
But AI has been threatening us long before that.
Instagram and Snapchat and Tik Tok have been using it for years. They run your messages and likes through AI, picking out the key words they need to feed you even more content. They want to make you the perfect consumer.
You think you found that video on Tik Tok? Nah, that video found you. Because that’s all AI is. Next level capitalism. Turning everyone and everything into a product that can be bought and sold, repackaged and sold again. Anything to keep you swiping and tapping and not living.
So .... how do we avoid this apocalypse?
I’ve got a four point plan from an old man. Who happens to be wearing a tuxedo.
Advice number one: Accept your human imperfections.
My nose is so broken I can barely breathe out of it. I dislocated my shoulder. I cracked my eye socket. Dislocated my knee and I tore my ACL. A disc in my spine popped out of place and presses on a nerve ending. As a result, most mornings I can barely walk when I first get out of bed.
When I was in elementary school I was diagnosed with ADHD. It was so hard for me to focus I didn’t read a book until 6th grade. I could read, but I just couldn’t focus long enough to read a whole book.
I don’t love that it hurts when I walk. Or that sometimes my brain is going so fast that I can’t hold a normal conversation like a normal person. I carry my parents divorce. The friends I lost. The friends who weren’t really friends. The people who broke my heart. All those emotional scars. But I would never give away my imperfections. Because without them I wouldn’t be me.
Accept your imperfections like badges of honor. Everything you had to struggle with and overcome to get to this moment. To this graduation. Celebrate that your struggles make your success that much more valuable.
Insta and Snapchat are telling you to present your life like it’s perfect. That’s a trap.
ChatGPT is offering you the illusion of the perfect essay. That’s a trap.
Essays aren’t about the product. They’re about the process.
I want to read an 8th grade exit project written in 8th grade language using Alie and Cricket’s graphic organizers. I want to see that a kid struggled to find the best quote and then struggled through using the levels of analysis. Because that process. That struggle. That’s going to make you the kind of person who can think and analyze and get the future you actually want.
Which moves us into advice number two. Find your own path.
Kids are always asking me who is my most successful former student. Is it the one who has a tech startup that writes code so you can do a one hour MRI in under 15 minutes? Or is it the chef who has been written up in the New Yorker and Bon Appetit? Maybe it’s the one I ran into most recently who installs fire suppression systems and smoke alarms. I know that doesn’t sound glamorous. But, yo, he was so proud when he showed me a photo of his wife and kid.
The thing is ... there is no one path. You just need to find yours. The reason I’m happier than most people is that I found my path. I am supposed to be a math teacher at School of the Future, making kids teach problems at the board, hounding kids to do homework and retake quizzes, and occasionally I wear a pikachu onesie. Not sure how to explain that last one. I guess you had to be there.
Just find your path. Make it a positive one. And you’ll be happy.
Advice number three. Travel.
And for this one, I defer to an even older old man.
Mark Twain said, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.”
The adults are breaking this world with war and bigotry. Through travel you learn that there is no other. There is no them. There is only us. And we have a lot to share with one another.
I remember that first time seeing Picasso’s Guernica in Madrid. Exploring the Angko Wat ruins in Cambodia. That baseball game in Havana. That delicious shawarma in Cairo. And I cannot imagine my life without these moments. You need to travel and find your own perfect moments.
You can start here in this audience. Just by talking to one another. And you could travel from Senegal to Sri Lanka. From South Africa to Northern Ireland. From India to Italy. Ecuador to England. Montenegro to Mexico.
But when you’re 18, get your passport, get that discount plane ticket, and get ou there. Because there is so much this world can teach you.
And now my final piece of advice .... Look up.
In part I’m asking you to do this so I don’t run you over as I bike around the city. cannot tell you how many people I’ve seen walk into traffic while staring at a phone.
But also ... look up because the world is beautiful and if you’re swiping through fake happiness and fake friends and fake beauty you’re going to miss the real thing.
Look up and see the window sill flowers. The perfect cloud. The dopest graffiti. If you see someone walking a cute dog tell them, “Yo, that’s a cute dog.” Because they’ll probably let you pet it. Ask my circle. We got to cuddle with a golden doodle on one of our “educational” walks.
And yes, parents, I’m telling your kids to talk to strangers.
Because the more people. Real people. Not tap, tap, swipe people. The more real people that you actually talk to, the more you realize that we’re all in this together.
Put the phone down and look up. Because the world is a beautiful place and you don’t want to let it pass you by.
You can be as angry as you want about Yondr, but I can see the difference it has made in your ability to be mentally present, make friendships, and demonstrate the resilience you need to overcome anything this world may throw at you.
Now it’s not going to be easy. But make sure you go out there and live life with all of its beauty and imperfections. Meet new people. Eat amazing food you’ve never even heard of before. Get your heart broken. Break someone else’s heart. And then do better next time.
In closing I just want to say that am so happy. We are so happy. To have been there for part of your journey. And when you think back on your time with us, we hope it gives you strength. Knowing that we cared for you. Knowing that we will always care for you. Because what we did together mattered.
Congratulations to School of the Future class of 2024. I couldn’t be more proud and happy to have been your teacher.
This speech was originally written and delivered by Ben Mook, at the 2024 School of the Future Graduation Ceremony.
News and Updates
Most misinformation online comes from a small group of "superspreaders!" Jay (@jayvanbavel) explained the spread of misleading and hostile online content during the #APA2024 Main Stage Headline Event in Seattle last week on "Safeguarding Public Health in the Misinformation Era." You can watch the video clip below to learn more about the psychological factors that make us susceptible to believing, sharing, and acting on false information.
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