How to craft your own identity: An interview with John Miles about his new book "Passion Struck"
Issue 113: Author John Miles explains the key principles to unlock your purpose
Are you living intentionally, with purpose and passion? Will your future self be proud of your story?
This week, we interviewed John Miles about his new book “Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life”. His book examines the invisible forces—like social norms—that often hold people back from reaching their potential. He offers vivid examples and concrete advice about intentionally crafting your own identity, rather than living a life dissatisfied with your personal and professional accomplishments.
"Passion Struck" was born out of the powerful observation from Henry David Thoreau: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Jay initially met John as a guest on his popular podcast, where they discussed many of these issues at length. The title of the episode is "Be the architects of your own identity" and it was the single most downloaded podcast on the show last year (we invite you to check it out). One of the themes of their discussion was the power of norms and culture—power that can either hold us in place or change our behavior. For instance, Jay argued that “a tremendous amount of money has been wasted on implicit bias training and organizations trying to rewire people’s biases. What the research shows is far more effective is changing the culture and the norms.”
John’s book builds on this premise. He notes that if people become aware of these invisible forces, they can create a meaningful mission for their life, address the root causes that are holding them back, unleash their own potential, and even transform their own leadership abilities. John’s book weaves together scientific insights with stories from his own life and the lives of incredible leaders.
In addition to being an author and hosting a popular podcast, John has a fascinating career trajectory. He has also been an entrepreneur, U.S. Navy officer, and Fortune 50 senior executive, enabling him to ground his insights in real-world experience. He’s not just a voice on leadership and personal growth; he’s lived it in a way few people can imagine.
What does your book teach us about social identity or group dynamics?
In my latest book, "Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life," I explore the often unseen forces that deeply influence our daily existence and overall trajectory. Drawing from a wealth of real-life stories and backed by thorough research in psychology, and behavioral science, I offer a comprehensive guide for overcoming the negative impacts of 'Human Mosquitos'—my term for the people and environments that sap our energy, obscure our vision, and mislead us from our intended path.
Echoing the subtle yet powerful concept of invisible influence, as highlighted by Jonah Berger in his studies, I argue that our social identities and the dynamics within our groups aren't just passive backgrounds to our lives but potent forces that can either hinder or bolster our quest for intentional living. Through the book, I share strategies to critically assess and reshape these influences, advocating for a proactive approach in shedding negative impacts and enhancing positive ones.
This premise is supported by compelling evidence: leadership development firm Fierce Inc. found that a staggering four out of five employees have dealt with a toxic coworker, while Randstad's research indicates that 58 percent of employees have left or considered leaving their jobs due to negativity and office politics. Moreover, a 2023 Pepperdine University study underscores the prevalence of office politics, revealing that 68 percent of employees see it as a common issue, with nearly 40 percent willing to leave their jobs over it.
A core principle I explore is the 'Boundary Magnifier,' which underscores the importance of establishing firm personal boundaries to protect ourselves from harmful influences. Alongside this, I introduce the notion of the 'Outward Inspirer,' encouraging readers to not only shield themselves but also to positively influence their surroundings.
"Passion Struck" invites readers to reflect deeply on the invisible currents steering their lives, urging them to make deliberate choices that align with their deepest values and aspirations. It's a call to action for individuals from all backgrounds to actively shape their environments, relationships, and daily decisions toward becoming their best selves.
What is the most important idea readers will learn from your book?
When you ask about the heart of "Passion Struck," the real takeaway is this eye-opener: the most incredible person you'll ever meet is the one staring back at you in the mirror. This book is all about waking people up to see the real value they've got inside them and the potential they've barely scratched the surface of. It's saying, "Hey, you've got this incredible power within you, just waiting to break out."
But here's the thing—the journey "Passion Struck" takes you on isn't about chasing after fleeting pleasures or quick fixes. It's a deeper, more rebellious quest against the societal norms that have been dictating how we should live our lives. It's a bold refusal to accept a life that's been outlined by someone else's expectations. We're talking about breaking free from the chains that hold so many of us back and reclaiming the power to write our own narratives for a life that's genuinely fulfilling.
The book is a catalyst for this kind of personal revolution. It's for anyone who's tired of feeling like they're just bouncing around life without direction, reacting to whatever comes their way. At the end of the day, "Passion Struck" is a journey to discovering and becoming the best version of yourself. It's a powerful reminder that when you align your day-to-day actions with your deepest ambitions and aspirations, there's nothing you can't do.
Why did you write this book and how did writing it change you?
"Passion Struck" was born out of the powerful observation from Henry David Thoreau: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” This observation resonates deeply in today's world, where pursuing success often leaves us feeling empty, disconnected, and trapped in a routine that drains our spirit. It's a reality that led me to question: Why do we settle for a life less than we're capable of living?
Alarmingly, Gallup's findings show that 900 million people worldwide (142 countries) are dissatisfied with their lives and careers, and with the rapid pace of automation predicted by leading institutions like MIT, Oxford University and experts like Thomas Frey, who estimates 2 billion jobs will vanish by 2030, the urgency for us to find joy and meaning in our lives has never been more critical.
Writing this book was a transformative journey for me, challenging me to confront and navigate the very societal norms I critique. It became clear that authentic living isn't about fleeting pleasures or quick fixes but a profound, deliberate choice to defy conventions and actively shape our existence. This journey illuminated the stark reality that, despite the advancements and conveniences of modern life, genuine fulfillment eludes many.
"Passion Struck" is a call to action—a guide to breaking free from the 'quiet desperation' that Thoreau described. It’s an invitation to embrace the courage to make different choices, to live with intention, and to craft a life that resonates with our deepest aspirations. Writing this book changed me by deepening my understanding of the pervasive sense of unfulfillment that afflicts so many and reinforcing my commitment to advocating for a life of purpose, passion, and intentional living.
What will readers find provocative or controversial about your book?
In "Passion Struck," I delve into the intricate relationship between the core aspirations of self-determination theory—autonomy, competence, and relatedness—and the elemental human need to matter. I argue that societal norms do more than just restrict personal growth; they actively erode the intrinsic worth that individuals attach to their lives. This analysis suggests a critical oversight in the current application of self-determination theory: it fails to account for the extent to which societal pressures attenuate individuals' feelings of significance, thus exacerbating the challenge of meeting these essential psychological needs within a societal context that frequently marginalizes personal significance.
The book's message—that apathy is a choice and that intentional living is the alternative—presents a call to action that requires individuals to reject passivity and actively engage in the construction of their own lives. This perspective might be controversial because it places the onus of change on the individual, potentially underestimating the structural and systemic obstacles that can impede personal agency and choice.
In essence, in "Passion Struck," I propose that the boundaries of behavioral economics and self-determination theory are not fixed but can be expanded through intentional action. It challenges readers to reconsider their own life possibilities, questioning whether they are truly at the mercy of irrational biases and societal norms or if, through awareness and deliberate choice, they can craft a life of authenticity and purpose. This proposition is a bold assertion of human agency in a world often characterized by constraints, both internal and external, making it a provocative stance in the ongoing conversation about what it means to live a fulfilled life.
Do you have any practical advice for people who want to apply these ideas (e.g., three tips for the real world)?
Absolutely, when it comes to embracing the principles of becoming Passion Struck and applying them in everyday life, the journey begins with recognizing and tapping into what genuinely excites you. Oprah Winfrey captures this beautifully when she says, "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." This is where it all starts—identifying what fuels your fire and allows you to tap into an incredible source of energy.
Being Passion Struck is not just about having a passion, though; it’s about embodying a relentless pursuit of excellence and self-actualization, much like the figures I discuss in my book. People like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Astronaut Chris Cassidy, Novak Djokovic, and Marc Benioff exemplify this state. They don’t just pursue their passions—they immerse themselves in them, consistently pushing beyond their limits, setting new benchmarks for themselves, and embodying the spirit of never-ending growth and resilience.
Once you've pinpointed what excites you, the next step is to persistently pursue it, despite the challenges that come your way. Daisaku Ikeda offers profound wisdom on this matter. He suggests that defeat in life isn't about making mistakes; it's about giving up on yourself in the midst of difficulty. True success, then, is winning the battle with yourself. Those who persist in the pursuit of their dreams, overcoming hurdles, are the true winners because they've conquered their weaknesses.
At its core, being Passion Struck is about an intense, almost inexorable drive to mold one's life intentionally in the pursuit of an ideal self. It aligns perfectly with Sharon Salzberg’s message—the essence of our lives is defined not by what we accumulate but by how we choose to live, by the wisdom we embody, and by the ignorance we overcome.
It's not just about what we do or aim to accomplish but fundamentally rewiring how we think, feel, and act. This transformation is about transcending conventional achievements to focus on a higher purpose, a purpose that is inextricably linked to one’s core identity and values.
You can find John on Twitter/X @John_RMiles and visit his website to learn more about the book and find out where to purchase it!
News and Updates
Jay and Dom were cited in a sports article from The Post, a New Zealand metropolitan daily newspaper. The article, How the Warriors have management psychology on their side (The Warriors are a NZ National Rugby Team) explains how players’ trust in their coaches is a strong predictor of success; and that Coach Andrew Webster has created a culture of trust, respect, and approaches coaching with an absence of ego.
“In their groundbreaking book The Power of US, psychologists Jay Van Bavel and Dominic Packer show ‘one of the key consequences of shared identities is that they encourage people to trust one another’. “
Jay is on a panel tomorrow at 11:30am EST about WHY WE BELIEVE and the misinformation crisis. The virtual event is hosted by PEN America, the American Psychological Association, and the National Press Club. You can follow this link to learn more and register to attend.
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